I never want to Multitask again.

On a recent Friday, I was on Creative Mornings/RDU‘s virtual speaker event with Journalist, rock critic, novelist, and 2019 Piedmont Laureate David Menconi. I am CMRDU’s staff photographer; a role that has morphed drastically in this last year when all their events moved to the virtual platform (hello screen-shot photography!).

On this particular day, before I joined the Zoom meeting, I did what I usually do which is to make sure the kids have EVERYTHING they could possible need for those 45-minutes so that I am not interrupted. I even fed little Ari and put him down for an early morning nap. I had my coffee and I was ready to go baby!

Except, barely 10-minutes into it, there was a loud argument over something stupid. Followed with the mystery of the missing laptop 1-minute before class was to start (which I clearly had missed to address in my “EVERYTHING”). Followed with Ari waking up because of all the commotion. Followed with a naked 3-year old excitedly announcing that he has pooped – albeit in his undies – but that “I flushed the poop nuggets and washed the underwear in the sink mama”.

So while listening to the wonderful talk by David which was now on full-blast so that I could hear it from every corner of the house while running around from one stupid calamity to the next, I was also nursing a baby. And somehow still taking screen shots.

A year ago, this morning would have made for good fodder for my writing. An hour-later when things died down, I would have even been thankful for it because let me assure you that there is nothing more fun than writing about how my kids drive me nuts and how I try and emerge on the other side without any permanent scars. It’s the source of my “material” if you may.

Except I am over this CONSTANT state of multitasking in everything I do. It’s not always poop and fights (thankfully), but I am always doing something while doing something else. And I know it isn’t just me. This incident has repeated in one form or the other in every household on this planet – over and over again. Is it even funny anymore?

Well, may be a little bit because – poop. Poop stories always tend to make everyone of all ages – who isn’t in-charge of the clean-up – laugh. Poop jokes make humans laugh. It’s a fact.

Research has already shown that being a good multitasker isn’t a thing anymore because it actually makes us slower and more inefficient. But here we are my friends!

I look forward to the time when I – we – will be doing just one thing at a time. Uni-tasking is going to be a thing and you heard it here first!

Happy Monday to you all. Hope you have a productive week and hope all the poop in your life is contained!

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