The DC Metro

The commute on the DC Metro is becoming quite mundane. You run into the same types of people on the way to and from work. There is the Chatty Guy who sounds like he is out on a Friday night…just so happy and hyper and well, talkative. I don’t like to be talked to in the morning, it hurts my head. It’s as if my mouth wont part unless it’s to sip coffee.

Then there is the Loud Music Guy. This guy is even more annoying because his music is louder than the real conversation of the Chatty Guy. And because the world isn’t evil enough, the music on his mp3 player is always terrible. That too hurts my head.

Then there is the Standing Guy. I know the DC metro is pretty minute compared to the craziness in say Chicago or New York or Tokyo even. But it still gets crowded and the Standing Guy makes it his business to take up as much room as possible, usually right by the door. The metro conductor is always prompt with his instructions to move “to the center of the cart” every freaking time the door opens. But this guy thinks he is special and plants himself right in front of the door along with his bags and papers, leaving no room for new people to get on. I usually want to knock him over with my big bag and not apologize. Looking at this guy hurts my head.

Lastly there is the Combination Guy who is doing all of the above at the same time. Thankfully for this guy, I haven’t run into him yet. I’ve only heard rumors of him. But he better watch out because if I ever meet him, I might just knock him over with my big bag, ask him to SHUT UP while I grab his mp3 player and throw it to the “center of the cart“.

There are also moments on the DC Metro, like this morning, when a parent strides in with a stroller full of cuteness. The Kid is always so amused to see so many unsmiling faces. I usually cant help but stare at the child as the parent considers me to be That Creepy Guy who wont stop staring. Usually I always manage to get The Kids attention who then proceeds to smile at me and wave with there tiny hands. I smile back and it makes my day so much better. Until I run into The Escalator Guy who stops without notice on the left side of the escalator usually bringing my face in dangerously close proximity of his ass. Idiot.

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